December...

Ahh... December...

December, the last month of the year... life as I know it has taken a even worse turn. Normally, December is a happy time, or at least a festive time... with Christmas coming and all. Unfortunately, this entire year has thus far been a trying year and at the last month of the year, everything has to spiral down even farther. When will my obstacles end?

When I am supposed to be focusing on ONLY looking for a new job, my laptop decides to act up. It turns pink! I love my Lappy, though it's old... about 4 1/2 years old. It's still usable, but my eyes will only get worse as my Eye doctor had already told me... my last job gave me a case of severe dry eye... from staring constantly into a badly lit computer screen. Then I catch the flu. This was a bad one. I haven't had the flu for over 2 years! It disabled me! I even had to reschedule an interview because I was coughing up a storm and couldn't even finish one sentence without needing to cough up some mucus (sorry, it's gross I know.) Being sick is definitely the pits... and just as my luck would have it, I get into a car accident! A hit and run accident! And, all the while I'm still delirious and ill...at the scene of the accident, I am confused, I am feeling as if God wants to throw me more curve balls. I feel so alone.

I need a job AND I need to move forward from the hell I've been experiencing this past year. Without any compassion from family, I feel so alone as it is and then I get into an exchange of harsh words with them that makes me even more depressed. All I can do is to take care of myself and stop analyzing others I suppose... but I continue to receive obstacles preventing me to do what I need to do.

In the midst of trying to recover from the flu, taking care of the car accident (which has caused me more body aches), getting a working laptop, family issues, etc... my DSL somehow got ported over to a new carrier without MY authorization! Some one from Verizon messed up big time and they are all idiots. I spent 700 minutes on my cell phone trying to fix this~ fix a problem I did not cause, and getting really useless techs from them. None of this is my doing!! I ask, WHY IS THIS CRAP HAPPENING TO ME?? All I want to do is focus on looking for a job so I can survive! Why am I being attacked left and right?! I want to cry... no, I'm really tired. Tired of needing to take care of unnecessary things! Life is really not good right now. No, it sucks.

I want to sue Verizon so bad for messing with my line and interrupting my life even more! I had no connection for a week and yet they still cannot trace what happened?! It is ridiculous that I spoke to over 20 people and all except one was willing to help. When I gain some sanity and strength, I will make it my mission to get Verizon for messing with me! That will be real fun!

Meanwhile, I am trying to fix my miserable month/life. I am hoping and praying nothing worse can come my way. Maybe convincing myself that with all the bad that has happened and passed, a new light will appear as the new year arrives... at least this way, maybe I'll be happier and feel less wanting to give up.