Friday, January 30, 2009


These days I've been having lots of strange dreams. I've been writing down what I remember from them in a notebook, trying to decode them...but with little success. They are often in segments and sometimes don't even relate to me directly. Some of it is as if I AM watching a movie. And when I awake, I can still see the scenes from these dreams. Even when I go back to my notebook days later, reading back what I documented, I'd recall the dream instantly with vivid pictures.

I had a dream a few days ago. It was about death. I'm not sure what it meant. When I woke up, I did not remember it instantly. Not until I got out of bed to wash up, this
overwhelming feeling of burden or something came over me. It was not sadness, but instead it almost seemed like some kind of relief. Almost as if I had gone somewhere and came back. I was not happy, but was not sad either. As I brushed my teeth, the dream came back to me. The death part was not really morbid. In the end, the death was really not "death", it was a mistake... a sort of misunderstanding. I guess that's where the brief relief is from. I'm just wondering which part of myself did I kill off?

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